You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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