We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
