It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
