you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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