Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize