Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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