You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
