why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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