Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
