I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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