well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
