Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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