my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
