Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize