Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize