I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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