I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
