New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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