Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
