So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
