You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
