try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
