Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
