i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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