So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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