so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
