I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
