Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
