I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
