Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
