I'm gonna have a badass scar
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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