I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize