Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
