He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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