the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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