How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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