EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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