I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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