I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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