I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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