you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
