i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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