Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
