i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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