That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
