omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
