i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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