I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
