stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
