I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
