Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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