Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I will be naked everywhere
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
