hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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