With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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