hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
