Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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