Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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