It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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