we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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