He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
