Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize